Thursday, October 8, 2009
Are you OK?
I'm minding my business that day. I came to work friendly, but not social (keep in mind I work close quarters with 18-30 year-olds). Feeling peaceful and introspective I take the opportunity to leave the crew, finding refuge in sorting the training room. Inevitably someone comes in to see what's hopping with my project. As we talk, in mid-conversation they ask, "Hey, are you doing ok?" ....At once the beautiful day I thought was full of opportunity to marinate my thoughts and surprise myself with new revelations gets shut down. In a second I go from zen to hell pen as fire blazes out my ears. Through my teeth I say, "Yep". They get the hint and leave as my knuckles whiten, crumpling whatever papers I have in my hands. How could they think something's wrong?! I'm just fine. Everything's great! Then I come to my new revelation a lot sooner than I'd anticipated. I'm in a bad mood. Then it snowballs as I acknowledge they were right.....UGH!