Thursday, December 3, 2009

3 Days in Chicago and Already Man-Trouble...

First person my brother introduces me to is his ex-boss from the military who gets kicked out for drugs currently sleeping on a friends' couch playing "xbox" all day...very nice guy, already a bit suffocating though. Before he even met me he wanted to take me out to the Sears Tower and give the le tour de Chicago. Don't know him, nice intentions (I hope?). Oh boy, he's unemployed and wants to hang out and talk about past relationships, music, and desires in a future relationship. Aside from his smoking/cussing/needy/clingy tendencies he's enjoyable to hang out with, but he dropped some heavy hints he was interested. I dropped some pretty heavy hints by saying "I am repulsed by the thought of having to talk to the same person everyday". Deterrent? We'll see. I feel trapped because I have no car, he knows where I live, has my #, knows I don't have a job yet and don't know the area. He is very helpful, in fact tomorrow he is helping me get my boxes up the 3 flights of stairs, but dang! Don't know what to do, need to set some friggin' boundaries with this guy....

Monday, November 23, 2009

Dear Christian Right: PLEASE stop using e-mail!

So no one is my world is a crazy Christian right wing Republican sucubus. Because you know, I need sanity. But at my job I check our public account and in our public account this man named "Bill" sends us stupid fucking Christian chain mail and they all have the same format at they are all vaguely threatening.  They generally go like this:


(and then always)

Then there is a poem or something that is supposedly written by a child or a veteran or a Republican or an obscure celebrity. 

Usually it bashes minorities, muslims and other sorts.  It implies that Demorats are on a course to destroy America and its freedoms and that if don't agree with every word of this e-mail you hate America, veterans, the flag etc.  They usually will put in a picture or two of a woman holding a gun in a field or something like this:

And then the WORST part is the end guilt trip about passing on the message to everyone you know. It usually goes something like this:
I don't know about YOU but I would not feel comfortable not passing this one on. We pass on a lot of jokes but this is something that MATTERS.  Go ahead and do what you want but as for me I will pass it on to my 10 closest friends like a prayer. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!

GOD IS GOOD! Phillipians whatever whatever


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Shark Poem

White Tip, Black Tip
Watch out, the SNAP quick!

Teeth and jaws and power and might,
compels a man to shiver with freight.

Tiger Shark, Leopard Shark,
they will leave a mark!

Surround your body with plexiglass,
'cuz they will eat your a$$.

Hammer Heads and Great Whites
will swallow you with delight.

They will mistake you for a seal,

and eat you with zeal!

All the single ladies...

This is what happens when you give out your number...


I have a rule, more like a promise that I made to myself a long time ago that I would never give out my number to anyone I just casually meet when I go out.  This picture is exactly why I made that promise to myself. Apparently I needed a nightmarish reminder--a chill radiating down my spine of why you should NEVER give your number to someone when you go out...never again.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Are you OK?

I'm minding my business that day. I came to work friendly, but not social (keep in mind I work close quarters with 18-30 year-olds). Feeling peaceful and introspective I take the opportunity to leave the crew, finding refuge in sorting the training room. Inevitably someone comes in to see what's hopping with my project. As we talk, in mid-conversation they ask, "Hey, are you doing ok?" ....At once the beautiful day I thought was full of opportunity to marinate my thoughts and surprise myself with new revelations gets shut down. In a second I go from zen to hell pen as fire blazes out my ears. Through my teeth I say, "Yep". They get the hint and leave as my knuckles whiten, crumpling whatever papers I have in my hands. How could they think something's wrong?! I'm just fine. Everything's great! Then I come to my new revelation a lot sooner than I'd anticipated. I'm in a bad mood. Then it snowballs as I acknowledge they were right.....UGH!    

Rant: The Boy Who Won't Go Away

By Writer Numero 2

Let’s give a short intro to this…"A" and I dated on and off for 2 and a half years.  I met him at OSU through a mutual friend.  He was in Pharmacy school at the time and now he’s finishing up his degree at OHSU.  We were never “officially together” because he could never “offer me enough time,” because he was too focused on school blablabla.  Things were always great during winter, spring and summer breaks…then a midterm would come along and all of a sudden I didn’t exist, or he would get really frustrated with a test and he needed space.  The last straw was Valentines Day ’09.  So I applied to grad school in Arizona and here I am.  As soon as I left, though he started to “miss me.”  I would get text messages or IM’s on Friday nights...without fail “I kinda miss you.  I kinda wish circumstances were different sometimes.”  Oh that’s nice to hear 1,400 miles later.  Here are some other text conversations we've had:

 A: Sorry to wake you up.  Just wanted to say that despite the number of people I meet it still reminds me of all the things I liked about you.  Call me tomorrow if you get a chance.
Me: That’s a really shitty way of telling me you miss me, dummy.
A: Well it sounded more romantic in my head.
A: I legit miss you a lot.  Hit me up sometime when you get a chance.
Me: “Legit miss me?”
A: Legit
Me: Ok so why do you legit miss me tonight?
A: I don’t know wedding and couples I guess
Me: If only you went to more weddings when I was still around…
A: Do you still ever think about the idea of us?
Me: Try not to.  What do you think about?
A: I dunno I just see all this people being young and in love and getting and married and stuff and I kinda get jealous and think if there was anyone that could be me with it would be you.
Me: Me? Not all the people you’ve been “meeting”
A: You don’t have to be so sarcastic with me but ya I said it.  I guess sometimes I get flashes of how short life is and regardless of circumstances I want people to know they are important to me….I kinda feel like we might owe us a chance again sometime if we are ever in the same place.

By "if we are ever in the same place" he is so subtly implying that I come back to Oregon because he has a contract with Walgreens in Portland...  Never ceases to amaze me.  Wouldn't it be lovely to get a text saying “Hey, I’m sorry I fucked up so bad, you deserve better—good luck to you” or “I’m sending you a semi-truck filled with water to represent the tears you’ve cried over my sorry ass that I’m giving back to you.”  Nope, it’s always “I miss you, when are you coming back?”  Sometimes for the hell of it I’ll ask “When are you coming to visit…?” and his response is “Well my rotation doesn’t really give me a break”  Oh funny because it sounds like they give him a couple days off to get drunk at a wedding to text the one that got away.  Am I taking crazy pills?  Is this his idea of romance?

Ok, I know he should be cut off for good.  But let's face it: his weekly texts that so conveniently arrive on a friday or saturday night when he's intoxicated are so amusing.  "I legit miss you..." w. t . f .

Rant: The Carpool Lame

By writer 1

I drive a lot. A lot. I bought my car in January and have put almost 18,000 miles on it and I spend two hours at least commuting everyday.  Driving on the freeway this much really really blows. Generally I have to say that nothing is more irritating to me than the carpool lane.  The carpool lane should really be called “elitist driver lane”.  I don’t mind people who’ve gone through the effort to put together a carpool of people, who enter and exit the lane safely, legally and in a timely fashion. For you- bravo (I guess).  That is like 1 in 10 people that use the carpool lane. Here are some examples of the most heinous offenders that cause me to lift my arms in frustration and hate these people with a blinded passion.

  • Last minute lane changers: with these people I just have to take a deep breath.  I cannot imagine as a commuter you don’t know when the freeway interchange or exit you need is coming up.  Prepare yourself and start to exit ahead of time.  You frequently have to cross 4-5 lanes of traffic from the carpool lane. When you try to cross them all at once you cut everyone off and slow everyone down hence the horrible jams that happen around every freaking interchange on the freeway. Your fault carpool lane.
  • Hybrid Sticker People: I’m sorry but no.  I’m all for Hybrid technology and its really great and amazing that your car may reduce car pollution and everything and I’m sure your ugly Prius probably poops rainbows (I do love hybrids, I promise I do) but unless you are physically taking another car off the road by sharing your passenger seat you get no special privileges. Done.
  • Illegal use of the lane: this comes in a few forms; assholes who just blatantly break the rules and drive alone in the lane, people who cross over the double yellow line whenever they please (HELLO I’M NOT EXPECTING THIS, also use a turn signal at least) and people who swerve in and out of the lane to cut you off in the fast lane.  All of these are so painfully annoying and the worst kind of carpool lane trash.  Today on my way to work a woman swerved around me, no signal, into the carpool lane and then abruptly cut me off.  Traffic was not even moving at 20mph.  Way to go annoying devil lady. I hate you.
Bottom line: laws are being pushed to make emission standards even higher for people to use these lanes (65mpg) and I think that a great incentive- go for it because that would be great technology. There are also even more ridiculous lane clogging ideas like allowing fire fighters, seniors, vets, and the disabled drive in the carpool lane.  I’m sorry but it sounds like we’re creating a slow drivers and smug people lane.  Honestly- lets just open the flow of traffic to everyone a bit more and abolish the carpool lane altogether. Please.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Our first opinion piece!

Below you will find our first op-ed. If you are man, read this and learn. If you are woman say "amen sistah" and add any thoughts you have.

My turn!

Thoughts by Writer number 2:

1. Sense of humor, sense of humor, sense of humor
2.  Because if you can make me laugh, that's half the battle
3. I like me a man who can cook
4. Ask me questions about who I am, what I like and where I come from.  You can't get to know me without knowing the people I love and why I love them.
5. If you can dish it out then you better get ready to take it right back.
6. It sounds good in a text message, e-mail or IM but it means NOTHING if you don't back it up.  Example; if only you were here, blablablablalalalalalaaaaa.  Give me something real--send me a card, take a damn day off work and visit or hell draw me a picture with some crayons for me to put on my fridge.  Whatever it is it shows effort.
7. Realizing and telling us you love us AFTER we're gone for a while (perhaps left the city and/or state) is not a compliment.
8. Surprises, surprises, surprises!!!
9. I hate assholes, but I do like a good challenge.  You don't have to always agree with me, but there are certain things you just have to leave alone---or I WILL cry.
10. I know you can't read my mind...but try
11. Pooping and farting will always be funny no matter how old I get.  Accept that.
12. You better be able to fix things cuz I break things all the time.
13. Sometimes I'll cry and you won't know why or how, but it'll pass.  Just make me some brownies...or nachos.
14. No matter how loud you yell at the TV... THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU!
15. Return the favor (any and all flavors).

I guess the point is...the best way to my heart is through my stomach...and laughter.

Be the Best

 Writer 1
For me these are suggestion for how to be a great boyfriend. I realize no one is perfect but if you're looking to please your lady these are some pretty good tips for the average lady
  • When in doubt- flowers, jewelry and homemade cheesy gifts ALWAYS work
  • Be a man, not a boy. Always defend your lady
  • You have nothing if you don't have good communication and respect 
  • Your girlfriend is for loving, not insulting or being mean to
  • Make good with their friends/family, their opinion will always matter because they're the people that have always and will always be there (and they will always be on her side, sorry)
  • Never ever ever call her a bitch or a cunt or make her the brunt of a sexist joke. Its degrading.
  • Romance is important at every phase of the relationship, keep things fresh and exciting and it will pay off
  • The gifts, cards, flowers and sweet things you do for no reason or no occasion are more memorable then the things you do on a birthday or valentines day (although we love those things too!)
  • If you are always telling your girlfriend she's hot, try saying beautiful instead. Hot makes a girl feel cheap after a while.
  • Be careful what you say in the heat of an argument: she will probably never forget it and it probably is not necessary.  Be the boyfriend who cares, not hurts.
  • Girls love things like America's Next Top Model, painting their nails and Spice Girls the way you like Video Games, beer and Creed.  Let us stop acting so surprised when a girl does something girly or a man does something manly
Bottom Line: Remember what your girlfriend is for and what you are for your girlfriend. You should both be going the extra mile for each other, supporting each other, laughing with each other and getting through tough time with each other.  Think about your relationship; is it really one sided? Are you always giving her gifts and she never returns the favor? Does she always offer you a massage but you never offer her one? Balance in giving and receiving is key to both people feeling happy in a relationship.

Extra gooey brownie point tips (for when you want you girlfriend to call and gush about you to everyone she knows)
  • If you get into a big fight, send of bring her flowers with a card that says something like "Sorry babe, I shouldn't talk like that" or whatever.  She will most likely forget the fight but remember the flowers (thats good!) and it shows you don't rely on excuses for bad behavior
  • Make her dinner (bonus points if its a surprise, surprises are always good)
  • Call her parents or friends just to say hello
  • Write her a poem or a song or make her a picture if you're an artist
  • Puppies, puppies, puppies
  • Suck up how it makes you look sometimes and participate in what she likes

Perfect Boyfriend

 Thoughts written by writer 3


A kind/natural sense of humor

Actively pursues his curiosity for God

Always asking questions, challenging himself in thoughts, beliefs, pursuits

Loves trees/nature/outdoors/alternative sports


Great with his family, wants children

Lots of energy!!


Driven to grow professionally, personally, spiritually, mentally

Eclectic variety of friends.


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Let us begin

So here is the basic information necessary to understand this amazing blog.
  • This blog is being written by three ladies in their early twenties
  • We've known each other for over a decade
  • We all have a slightly different point of view
  • One of us in a long distance, serious relationship (Writer 1)
  • One of us is single in a new city and state for graduate school (Writer 2)
  • One of us is single, moving to the mid-west and has a strong religious faith (Writer 3)
  • We are all awesome
Actual introductions to come soon!

Monday, October 5, 2009


Welcome to our page.

Have fun!